If no one can help you, then how can I?
Some people.
I’m tempted to leave the blog here, maybe with an obligatory ‘you know who you are’ on the end.
Hmm… yes, think I will, just this once. Let the title speak for itself, and the answers won’t come. The apocolypse might, but that’s about it.
Maybe I’m reading too much Ellis mixed with Coupland, it does not lead to a hopeful world view
Btw I’m still alive
hey, I know I just wrote two rambly blogs, but thought I’d actually give you some info about what I’ve done this summer:
Finished PD, got a distinction…just need to get into Uni now!
Auditioned for Panto – chorus, should be aces!
Auditioned for Summer Holiday – Got the part of Angie, again should be…aces… there may be more to come on this later… as things are a changing…
Went to Ireland with the family… double bed, own bathroom…not too shabby (plus saw seals on a boat trip, awwww)
Went to Newquay with the crew… tiny bed / bedroom shared with Wart, but many many fun activities…made two new friends also 
First holiday away from the rents, and not only did I manage, it was aces!
Went to Leeds festival…first festival ever… had an unbelievable time…RHCP playing Californication live will go down in my memory as one of the best moments EVER!!!
Went to see Spamalot in London…OMG it was SO hilarious, yay best thing ever, loved it!
Went to Alton Towers with mummy Lottie, daddy Jon and older sister Wart…it kicked ass!!! Especially the run away mine train!
Got my AS Eng Lit result… A … not too shabby (haha even though I just scraped through, and hilariously cacked up the bit I thought I’d done well!)
Stayed cool.
I’m sure there was something else huge I forgot…. oh yeah, I won the lottery. haha i wish
George Michael…a sexual womble
On Tuesday 11th Sept I went to see the one, the only Ross Noble at the B’ham Hippodrome with my family. It’s his Nobleism tour, and it was…HILARIOUS! As per usual Ross didn’t disappoint in any way, especially as we were about 5 rows from the front, and it all felt a lot more personal than when he played the Alexandra, purely because the stage was pretty damn close to the seats lol! His show consisted of many hilarious things, including what is soon to become a catchphrase of his; ‘next muffin!’
The title of this blog comes from an idea he shared with us, that George Michael is in fact a ‘sexual womble’ as he seems to hide in hedges feeling amorous (Ross’ idea not mine, should his lawyers be preparing the libel case right now)…
Although the show was hilarious, and I enjoyed every single minute, my highlight would definitely have to be the fact that our last train was 11.04 and so, having been assured the show finished at 10.20 we assumed there would be absolutely no problem in getting that train, however at 10 to 11 Ross was still talking, and so my mum was nudging me and telling me we just HAD to go! Thus, at 5 to 11 my family all stood up only 5 rows away from Ross…needless to say, he noticed! Upon asking if his previous joke was just too much for us, my dad replied with somewhat of a grunt ‘train’ to which Ross asked us where it was to, and I happily replied Worcester, before Ross then decided to try and obtain us a lift off someone, or alternatively, have someone ring us so we could hear the rest of the show! Ross Noble speaking to me was clearly the highlight of my night…if not my life…though it wasn’t quite as cool as my extremely brief convo with Rich Hall after watching Avenue Q, it really is up there…hmm how many more comedians can I speak to I wonder?!
Me being me though, I did embarass myself greatly by waving and saying ‘sorry, we’ve got to go…’ yeah, good one! I also guffawed loudly whilst leaving… I’m so cool it hurts.
Yay Ross rocks!
P.s. you may have noticed during this blog I chose to call Mr. Noble the quite conversational term of Ross…this is because I am actually married to him now…in my dreams….
P.p.s. At least this time when a comedian spoke to me, I answered, as opposed to the brilliant outing to the Marr’s Bar to see Russell Howard, when I was doing something to my hair and he asked me if I had a question, to which I just shook my head fiercely and looked as though he’d just asked me if it was ok for him to rape me after the show.
Very uncool responses to comedians are my speciality!
You hope some friends don’t change, you wish some bloody would…
Hello there, haven’t written in ages…summer fun has been taking up a lot of my time, but I’m back, with no job and thus plenty of time to blog about my rather ridiculous life…today, an oddly reflective blog that I started possibly years ago and have been meaning to finish on…surprise surprise, friendship!
A few months ago on the radio they were discussing such forums as facebook which are particularly good for contacting old friends through…or stalking people (see previous blogs!). Whilst many listeners were saying it was a nice way to meet up with the people you haven’t seen in a long time, a few were voicing a different, but quite astute opinion; that there’s a reason you’re no longer friends with them, and that you often forget this, meet up with them and then realise it was probably a bad idea…
Upon hearing this I realised that they were, ultimately, probably right… sometimes meeting up with old friends is one of the best things on earth, you get on like a house on fire and you leave wishing you’d never grown apart & vowing to keep in touch from then on, but sometimes it’s just not…
There will always be those friends who you genuinly do miss for certain aspects of their personality, but when you meet up with them you realise that chances are, the reason you drifted apart in the first place is much more overwhelming than the desire to still be friends, or (this was suggested to me by a friend and i find it worse than the latter possibility), you seem to be getting along fine, but you soon come to the realisation that you in fact simply continue to reminisce about the ‘good old days’ but don’t actually ever have any ‘good new days…’
The other possibility of course is that friendships are sacred, I’m horifically pessimistic and I actually have no friends, thus sit at home blogging about how friends suck… this one’s shockingly likely!
J.K. Rowling controls all my emotions after July 21st…
Hi
Firstly this blog is incorrectly titled…it should be called ‘My Ron Weasley obsession….’ but I liked the other also. Let me explain, if you live under a rock in the desert, Harry Potter is a fictional wizard, created by Joanne Rowling, he attends a wizarding school in England, and he’s defeated a really evil wizard…once or twice. He’s also atrociously stupid. Tomorrow Harry Potter & the order of the phoenix is released at the cinema…this is the 5th book of the series, and ultimately the longest. Whilst I am very exicted about seeing this at 9.30am tomorrow, I am MUCH more excited about the release of the final Harry Potter book on July 21st (Harry Potter & the dreadful ending)…
I first noticed Harry Potter when my friend smacked me round the face with a copy after discovering I’d never read it. This didn’t really happen, but she did look extremely shocked, and I was worried she was going to pass out. It was during a discussion at school about the film they were making of it…by this point 4 of the books were already written, and whilst I’d briefly heard of them I’d assumed they were children’s books and so ignored them. How wrong I was!
I was lent the 4 books by my fanatical friend, and I read them quickly, shocked to discover I loved everything about them. The storylines are ok…I admit there are flaws. I mean, Voldemort only ever shows up at the end of the year, as though he’s coinciding with their exams to annoy Hermione for one. However, I’m invested more in the characters. I don’t care that all the mystery solving is always at the end of the book, because it leaves more time for hilarious banter throughout the book, especially when they attempt to do Divination homework. As I said, it’s the characters that keep me obsessed…my top 3 characters are Ron, Dumbledore & Lupin. As far as Harry is concerned, he’s probably somewhere down the bottom of the list of favourite characters, just before Goyle… this may come as sacrilige to some people, however I just don’t like him. He can be ok for about a minute, but he’s arrogant, stupid, and has serious hero-complex going on. The order of the phoenix is a particular sore point for me, because during this book he has a number of dreams of a place with lots of doors….a corridor of some kind, which is CLEARLY the ministry of magic! Every reader has guessed it in the first dream, but he has to then have 52 more to still not be able to work it out! Luckily there’s Hermione, who, whilst I originally hated her character, my liking of her correlates precisely with my disliking of Harry as the novels continue.
Ron is a character that quite simply is not flawed, along with Fred, George, Charlie & Mr. and Mrs. Weasley they make the books enjoyable!
A few weeks ago I was struggling to find enthusiasm for the final book. This is because the characters have to find the horcruxes where Voldemort has stored parts of his soul (I haven’t got round to re-reading this yet so I can’t quite remember the details – in fact, I’m still on the 3rd book, eeeeep!)…now, Hermione may be able to find them, but if they find them all super easily it will just be unrealistic…especially now they’re down a very major character. I’m not saying it because I know a ridiculous amount of people still don’t know who dies at the end of the 6th book…how they’ve managed to avoid it is anyone’s guess….
The death of this character bought many tears to my eyes…and thus, I have summised that J.K. Rowling does in fact control many people’s emotions…. I haven’t bothered to read the 6th book again since 2 years ago because of the ending in fact! But I shall read it before the 21st, so I actually know what’s going on….
Anyway, time for me to sign off and get on with reading the wonderous adventures of a smarmy idiot, his ok sidekick and the magical boy that is Ron…
I’ll attempt not to shout out tomorrow in the cinema ‘Harry use the magical mirror you idiot to save Sirius!’ It angers me he ‘forgot’ about it…………
Oh and Snape deserves to die. Thanyou, and yes, I know I’m scarily obsessed…
The race is long, and in the end it’s only with yourself…
Hi there
As you may have noticed, I don’t really blog in the usual manner…ie. hello this happened to me today and i feel x, y & z about it…. I tend to use them instead to simply tell you all about my amusing (and sometimes frankly ridiculous) life… However, recently there has been a lack in bloggage, this is simply because I’ve started about 3 blogs and just, well just haven’t got round to finish them, and so I thought I’d do a little blog about life….. la la la
Hehe, since I finished college I’ve enjoyed being an official 100% bum…it’s been fun, but it’s also been pretty damn boring… the thing is, I KNOW I have loads of stuff to do for my holiday soon, but I just cannot bring myself to do these things, instead I find I am sitting on the internet for hours at a time, reading harry potter, and playing on the sims.
Now, I know what you’re thinking…what’s with the title? It was originally called ‘Too much stuff going on in my small, small mind…’ but then I started listening to Baz Luhrman’s ‘Everybody’s free to wear sunscreen’ whilst writing this, and I decided to put a line from that as my title. In fact another good line just came up…’Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life.’ Good point Baz! Baz Luhrman is the only man cool enough to make that record, and (even better) I’ve managed to get a remixed version where in the middle ‘Everybody’s free’ from his version of Romeo & Juliet comes on… if you have no idea what I’m talking about, go and rent the following films:
Strictly ballroom
Moulin Rouge
Romeo & Juliet (the Leo one)
Then, download the afforementioned song, and enjoy…
Recently I really haven’t been doing much except for going out, and staying in…. I’m looking forward to going away for 2 weeks, because it’ll give me some chill out time…I know I’m a professional bum, but I won’t feel like I have anything at all to do…which will be nice, there’s also the added fact of my Harry Potter obsession…but I think perhaps that needs a blog all of its own…thus, this blog was 100% pointless, but if just 1 person now goes and listens to that song it will have been worth it.
Can I exchange my UCAS points for money? Please?
Hello
I’ve been thinking (insert jokes about cogs turning / how dangerous that is here) about my UCAS points.
Let me explain… UCAS are the bigwigs that control anything and everything to do with University, and thus they know all! UCAS stands for University Candidates Are Stupid. Fact.
Today I completed my Professional Diploma in Performing Arts, and was very pleased with my result, which was overall a Distinction, especially as it has been the god damn hardest course ever, and 8 people have dropped out of our class, leaving us with just 4 fab girlies who like to giggle all the time!!!
A few months back, when debating Uni, I decided to look up how many UCAS points I had… I hadn’t quite realised all of the qualifications I had until this moment. I had my National Diploma in Performing Arts (the equivalant of 3 A levels) and then I had…key skills.
If you are lucky enough to have never come across key skills then run for the hills now, and never look back! If however, like me, you have found yourself a slave to the horror that is Key Skills, you will understand that they had to put approx 10 or 20 UCAS points on each one otherwise the amount of complaints about an utterly pointless lesson would have soared through the roof!
Now, the education board (or whoever decides young people’s fate) clearly thinks that deciding to take Performing Arts makes you retarded, and thus they force us to not only do Communications key skills, but another key skills on the side, so basicly we do double the work of anyone else in the college, leading to us all being extremely angry but ulimately better off as far as UCAS points are concerned!
Now, enough with my rambling on and on…the main point to this story is, once you’ve added up all my various points for various bits and pieces, I have (not including my English Lit AS as I haven’t had the result yet, and I believe I have failed miserably) approx (again its approx because I got confused as to what a Professional Diploma was in UCAS speak) 570 points!
Now, either by this point you don’t give a damn about my UCAS points, or you’re thinking..ok fair play, take them in a big suitcase to a Uni, cash them in and get your education, but I have an alternative option….exchange them for money. Seriously.
This would be an amazing thing to do, should one wish to… you take your much earned UCAS points to some sort of drop off point, and exchange them for pound coins. Five hundred and seventy big ones!
In actual fact, this idea could revolutionise the way that education is thought of…for example, there could be a set number of UCAS points per year, and the students have to fight to be the best in their class, otherwise they know they might not get any, and every time somebody exchanges theirs for money, those UCAS points are released into the world and then the struggling students grapple with each other for them, desperately clutching onto them, knowing that if they salvage enough they can exchange them for a meal at pizza hut or something….
Then again I could just stop rambling here and end the blog. Yes, I think I shall.
Does sarcasm end here?
Hello there
Lets explain about what I do (when not on the computer blogging the momentous and stupid occasions of my life)…for the past 2 years I have taken Performing Arts at Worcester Tech College…basicly it’s the college known for its skill in vocational qualifications but people who go to Sixth form look down their nose at it (undeservedly lol)! This year I took a Professional Diploma in PA, which basicly is a post-grad course (even though not 1 person on my course has ever been to Uni, let alone graduated from it lol), and on the side I take Eng Lit AS level.
This year I’ve learnt a lot…firstly, no matter how shit the tech looks, the A level lessons are AWESOME!!! Also, I entered the lessons with my best friend, and I assumed I wouldn’t really make any friends, considering that I was there to…. (brace yourself) LEARN!
Truth is, I made friends, I made some kick-ass mates in fact!!! Dave, Sam, Fi, Sophie & Cat, you will forever amuse me, whilst Lottie & Bacon are quite simply the sex! I will never let them get away from me now, no matter how hard they try! Wart promptly left english after a few months, but (as cheesy as this is) instead of feeling stranded in a room full of people I don’t get on with, I like to feel I led the troops forward (so to speak) to more sarcastic times! We proclaimed ourselves ‘The Sarcastic Corner,’ with a much-needed ally across the room in the form of Dave, so that we had an excuse to banter across the room & thus make sure that absolutely nobody in the room could ignore us!!!
On Friday my Performing Arts will be officially over, and on Monday so will my English.
Today was the last lesson with our teacher James, who when we began was pretty much the bane of our existence, but who, over the course of the year has chilled out a lot, and it turned out that he knew what he was on about (who would ever think it of a teacher eh?!)
I admit to having learnt nothing throughout the course of the year, except how to be more sarcastic, but I can tell next year is going to be quite different for the sarcastic corner; 3 of us are leaving, and with the work piling up and becoming pretty damn serious, I just hope they can continue to be as sarcastic as is humanly possible!
Some things I have loved in English this year:
Lunging with Sam / touching each other inappropriately / gazing at each other across the room & then being caught!
Discussing VERY loudly how drunk we were in Tramps at the weekend with Lottie, Bacon & Cat!
Being asked to read aloud by James time and time again…. I couldn’t work out if this is because he likes my voice, is trying to keep me occupied so I don’t whisper or if it secretly because he is in love with me… hmm
Jane constantly asking me how I view the play (in a theatrical sense) and me desperately floundering for the answer before somone who has never taken drama before in their life saves me!
Tim Allen.
Tim Allen’s scribe!
Lottie’s hatred for working from sheets.
Jane’s jumpers!
When James caught me doing an impression of the fact that he had his face next to the book to read it and moved me!
Finding out Bacon thought that wotsits were those little polysterene things dyed orange!
Tim finding feminist poetry the scariest thing ever, and Sam & Fi getting ‘This is what a feminist looks like’ t-shirts!!!
There are about a hundred more, as approx 10 funny things happen every lesson, for example today the highlights were:
Me handing out old sweet I’d found in my locker only to bite into one and it take part of my brace off!
James asking me to read nearly the entire text book, then complimenting everyone else in our drama piece except me!
Bacon high fiving me because she liked my blog! (We like to high five a lot!)
Lottie & I remembering how we told some blokes we were called Jane & Jodie on a recent night out, as they were scary!
Lottie mentioning how you could imagine Bacon being Blackadder, whilst I would be George (oh yeah I’m Hugh Laurie) and Lottie would be Baldrick!
So… The sarcastic corner shall carry on without me…this could lead to me sitting at home rocking backwards and forwards next year, desperately thinking up sarcastic comments to a doll that I’ve called James…but lets hope not!
English has been a hilarious time all year, it’s been the one place where I have been able to escape from the drama of PA and receive advice on my ridiculous problems ‘I like this guy, but my gay (male) friend has slept with him…’ and where I know that if I say the words ‘Are you out Saturday?’ at least one member of the class is likely to answer with ‘yeah, should be!’ I will miss you all!
Ever been myspace bullied? I have. I felt dirty.
Heya
Lets face it, you’ve got myspace. If you’re reading an online blog, you’ve got myspace. Or facebook (ooh look, the grown up myspace!) or at least Bebo (yay a chav myspace!) or, if cool enough then you will have them all…. Do not judge me!
Myspace is amazing to spy on people…this is possibly why it was created. Tom is a sick, sick man…who’s also really fit (check out his pics on his page…he’s FIT I tell you)! Provided the person who’s page you’re trying to look at isn’t set to private (they rarely are) then you can go from page to page, seeing who you know who knows other people, and ooh look, the person you sit opposite in Sociology knows that girl you stood behind in the queue for the vending machine, and she knows that fit guy who asked you for a lighter outside college the other day!
Thus the obsessions begin.
Once, whilst doing what I would call trawling through other’s pages, I came across a comment that I knew was aimed at me…from a 17 year old ginger guy with a crew cut who I knew was a friend of a friend.
I had been dissed publicly on myspace…and not even on my own page! Though my name wasn’t used it was pretty obvious who he was talking about…such obvious myspace bullying left me with a feeling of resentment…myspace is for laughing with friends, giggling at photos of the weekend, blogging stupid stories only 3 people can relate to, and most of all… spying on people! If you want to bully someone, I say go use bebo!
I mean, think about it, no one really checks their bebo page very often, (and if they do it means they haven’t discovered myspace yet), and you can’t breathe on facebook without everybody knowing you did, so you may as well bebo it up! I recently suggested to a friend she dump her boyfriend over the internet…long story short, I’m not a horrible person, but she had been trying to dump him for 2 weeks and he basicly avoided it by not answering his phone! Now, I deemed bebo to be just chavvy enough that dumping via bebo would hurt. Badly.
Thus I have this to say… any airing of laundry in public that needs to be done, go use that godforsaken site that is bebo.com… and should you wish to disagree with me, i have my own bebo page and wouldn’t really mind being bullied on that…
However, if you should ever feel the need to insult someone via the internet, think of this first:
Will you ever come into contact with them, and if so, could they kick your ass?
Is your hair/face dodgy? If so DO NOT imply they are ugly, as they will simply reply with a nasty comment about you…
And lastly… Who’s going to walk away from the situation looking like more of a cunt, you or them? If it’s you…then why bother?
The techno!
P.s. interestingly enough whilst writing this I received an email from bebo…has someone insulted me on there already?!
Is there a wordpress for dummies book?
Hello there!
Shall I introduce myself? My name is Aisha Cummings, I live in Worcester…the English one (that makes the sauce) and I am 19. I’m gonna be honest, my friends Sally & Katy both seemed to have blogs on this site, and I quite frankly liked….the font. Genuinly. I’ve begun a blog because I like the font! Then I went to sign up and it was all nice and big and easy to see and well…alluring!
However, this gives users false hope that the site will be simple to use…but, as you can see from my title…I don’t believe so! I frankly cannot understand what is going on…though I like the fact you can save halfway through…myspace doesn’t let you do that!
Myspace… this will be something I will talk about regularly, my name on it is Techno Aisha…find me if you want, there’s pics and stuff on there, it’s all pretty fun!
At the moment I am debating which showing of Haz P 5 I will go to see at the cinema the day it is released….although there is a slightly more pressing matter at hand…I’ve decided to re-read the 5 books again, watch the film, then read the 6th book, ready for July 21st…slight issue. I got sidetracked with reading I, Robot and now Harry hasn’t even gone to Hogwarts yet, and July 12th (the films release date) is getting nearer and nearer…..hmmm a dilemma indeed, though it is clear what the simple answer would be…get off the fucking computer and read the book…. sadly I was never one to follow sensible advice!
So…why do I deem it necessary to put the word techno in front of my name? For this simple reason….I dance in a crazy manner, and I mean CRAZY!!! This all began about a year ago now, possibly longer, where some friends and I decided to go to Tramps (it’s a club in Worcester…there’s only really two to choose from), for the bank holiday Gym themed night…now, if you’ve never been clubbing you will picture everybody in tracksuits, sweat bands, etc…however, if you have ever set foot inside a club you will realise it means hotpants, cut off tops, leg warmers & high heels…
If you have ever seen a picture of me you will realise I am not about to go to Tramps wearing hotpants! Thus…I chose to wear rolled up combats, a red top, red converse, and sweat bands! I looked like an 80s skater. Seriously! I naturally wanted to go to The Gallery, which plays old skool cheesy music, but my mate Wart (we call her that coz she has genital warts…haha just kidding, her last name is Wharton) wanted to dance to some techno in the main room.
I am NOT techno. I have NEVER been techno. I look like a TWAT when dancing to techno. Upon knowing all of these things, I chose to go SO over the top it looked like I was born on a dancefloor!!! Ever since my name has been Techno Aisha, I am THE techno, and I pride myself in dancing to pendulum on a Saturday night whilst those around me shout ‘Techno, techno, techno, techno!’ This is no joke. I now love techno…we are like kindred spirits!!!
Anyway, enough about me…for now. If you haven’t already guessed, I’M SARCASTIC. Deal with it!
I’d like you to consider me as the next Carrie Bradshaw, only a fat version.
Yours sarcastically,
The Techno
